Six Feet Under: Time Flies

In the previous episode, it seemed that a lot of hurt could have been avoided with just a little thought. In this episode, the arguments were unavoidable. For their own reasons, the characters were feeling broken down and tired. When you’re that down and living closely with another person, normal functions are under pressure and collapse.

To prelude the first of the two big arguments, Brenda passive aggressively left her positive pregnancy test in the bathroom for Nate to find. Worrying in the mirror about losing his youth, Nate didn’t notice. Brenda asked whether he had noticed anything in there, and after a rueful comment about ageing he understood. However, he isn’t suitably enthusiastic for Brenda’s tastes so she sarcastically thanks him and stomps off. Now, normally Nate might have noticed the test, or picked up the hints from Brenda earlier, or been genuinely more exuberant. On the occasion of his 40th birthday, though, his thoughts were elsewhere and he didn’t have the energy to think about Brenda first and foremost. For her part, Brenda had her own worries and insecurities and so wasn’t able to convey any infectious joy. Instead, she tested Nate for her own reassurance.

Soundtracking their subsequent fight to Rebellion (Lies) was sublime. Anyone familiar with the song would have strongly attached to it whatever emotions they were going through when they first fell in love with it. Anyone unfamiliar with it – well, frankly, anyone unfamiliar with it has no business in pop culture.

Anyway, it was a good fight. Their exhaustion of their language into fierce swearing mirrored their emotional exhaustion, as neither had the energy left to refrain from hurting the other. Deep down, this was more or less what they thought of each other. However, base emotions aren’t always the most important emotions in relationships and people like them can normally rely on their mental faculties to love each other. A lack of space in which to devote your time to yourself, of course, makes it a struggle to vent your base feelings in other ways so that you have calmed energy left over to devote to your partner. Encapsulating it so perfectly, their postscript was, ‘Don’t be such a jerk.’ ‘Fuck off’.

The second big argument belonged to Ruth and George. Ruth’s composure is slowly being ground down by the loss of all that her former freedom had promised, while George has been made to feel a burden by Ruth’s continual exasperation. Presaging Ruth’s capitulation to the pressures, Claire had reminded her that her family, who she loved, was a lot less interested in her than George, who she was struggling to love. After Nate brilliantly flatly said no to giving a speech, Ruth attempted one. Claire’s aside, ‘Here we go’ prompted Ruth to scream, ‘This is not about you!’ The way Ruth instantly regained her dignity contrasted sharply with the dignity she felt she was losing as George’s nurse. At the same time, George and Billy had reinforced each other’s belief that their expectations were not unreasonable.

As we see Ruth and George later argue out their future in the bedroom, loyalties are divided. On the one hand, we’ve been with Ruth for four years and seen that she is loving and deserving of love (up until this season, perhaps more so than any other character). On the other hand, so far George hasn’t seemed as much a problem as Ruth makes clear to him that he is. Neither should be treated as they are, but there seems little alternative as they have both lost so much of who they want to be.

Aside from these two tour de force emotional maelstroms, some of the others were having their own problems in a more light-hearted manner. Six Feet Under has always excelled at throwing its cast together, and Nate’s party was no exception. Apart from the usual treat of seeing the characters in new contexts, the high point was certainly the fevered debate as to the meaning of and solution to the bird in the kitchen. Even Ruth slipped from misery for a moment (‘What kind of plan is that, to let a sick bird run wild in the house pooping?’).

David emasculating Keith for being so subservient before Roger was not exactly comedic, but there was humour in the portrayal of this tic of relationships and Keith’s good-tempered acceptance of David’s needless criticism. It’s depressing enough to be weighed down by work without having a loved one constantly bitch that you should stand up for yourself and not let yourself be pushed around. This little portrait neatly culminated with Roger doing David a big favour, and Keith not revelling in this too much.

On the subject of emasculating, elsewhere Rico continued to be disquieted during sex. As he warned Vanessa not to be too loud lest they wake their kids she casually replied, ‘They sleep through it now’. I’m a big fan of economy with words, and that is economy with words.

Buy now: Six Feet Under: Complete HBO Season 5
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Six Feet Under: Hold My Hand

This is one of the very few shows that could and should improve you as a person. Throughout this episode, myriad tiny cruelties were inflicted on loved ones. No one intended to hurt their loved ones, but horrible things were said and horrible silences were felt when comfort was needed. If each person had taken just a moment’s thought before speaking, everyone could have lived the happy loving lives made possible by their relationships. Wonderfully, of course, Six Feet Under didn’t blame anyone for their actions; the actions and their portents were simply shown. It’s sad to see how an idle comment tossed off in a second’s reverie can devastate someone’s hopes, and while the inevitability of these situations in close relationships is depressing, it’s redeeming enough to see the existence of hope in so many relationships.

The cruelty was either hot or cold. David and Keith’s argument after being turned down for adoption was the hot stuff. David angrily concludes his opening salvo, ‘You fucked up and it cost us everything’. Keith’s cool stoicism in response infuriates David even more, as David knows from experience that such restraint is just the flip side of cold fury. Keith knows that David is only really angry at himself, but that doesn’t make it any easier for him when he’s also upset. When David accuses him of not caring, Keith tries to comfort him by reminding him that surrogacy is still an option. And so David continues his tirade, ‘You never wanted to adopt in the first place. You know what? Fuck the surrogate. You can meet her yourself. I don’t want any part of it’. Keith glowers, knowing that David would still have yelled whether he had said anything else or nothing. There’s no suggestion that David doesn’t love him or that it’s the end of their relationship, and so they soldier on with Keith knowing that David will every so often use his calmness against him and David knowing that Keith will always sit in silent judgement of him.

Added heat came from Claire and Ruth. Claire’s evisceration of her mother’s life was brutal, especially given Ruth’s day.

The cold cruelty came from George, Ruth, Nate and Brenda. George offers to help Ruth, but she just sighs back, ‘So you say, but then you come back from the grocery empty handed’. After the meal, when George tried to sidle up to her for some peaceful intimacy, Ruth callously rejected his genuine warmth. The closest she can come to affection is telling George that him hiding uneaten food in his pockets is ‘nothing’ after his sincere apologies. Saddest of all, she asks, ‘Do I need to check the closets?’ She manages to confine her coldest gestures to when she’s alone (pouring herself the red wine and resting her head on the sink), but she must know that if George ever saw that he would be heartbroken.

Meanwhile, Nate fails to muster any enthusiasm for Brenda’s attempts to forge some family time. ‘I’ll do my best’ is as excited as he can get. At the family dinner, he also shrugs off Brenda’s forced heartiness. One disagreeable note was Brenda imagining Nate’s criticism. In an episode so rich in unspoken subtlety, another mournful gaze at her plate would have been more effective.

I don’t know whether I’m becoming more squeamish in my old age, but I’m finding the tension leading to the opening death less bearable than I remember from the early episodes. Having only recently seen The Test Dream, I squirmed when I saw the mother move from her son to attend to the frying pan. Well, nothing visually excoriating happened, but it was an introduction to the world of small cruelties. And one big cruelty. Given that she knew what she was inflicting on young George, did his mother really have to say, ‘God, sometimes you’re so stupid’?

Not that the episode didn’t have moments of more or less unqualified joy. Billy and Claire’s plans for a future in Europe beautifully captured the idealistic freedom of that age and temperament, particularly Billy seducing her with Spanish towns, while Rico always livens up proceedings. A highlight was Rico’s unnerved hesitation at being told, ‘Oh my god, you’re the cutest goddamn little fucker!’ during sex. Also, ‘Doesn’t this remind you of a movie? Two divorced people meet at singles night…’ ‘No’. Seeing the dejected Rico as Vanessa blithely passed off a relationship with a hockey player as ‘just sex’ and then sauntered over to a new man put all this levity in sharp relief. These youthful relationships convey so much promise, offsetting the stagnant malignancy afflicting all the established relationships.

Buy now: Six Feet Under: Complete HBO Season 5